By now we know what to expect when the greatest spectacle of them all, WrestleMania, rolls around each year.. In the past 25 years, we’ve seen The Undertaker’s undefeated streak become more and more unbelievable, and I personally have come to highly anticipate the Hall of Fame ceremony on the eve of the granddaddy of them all. More recently, the things we’re sure to see are the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, celebri–wrestlers such as Donald Trump, Snoop Dogg and Floyd “Money” Mayweather, and another Diva posing nude for Playboy. (Although that’s something we don’t actually see at WrestleMania, much to the disappointment of millions of male fans. Buy the magazine guys…)
This years edition of WrestleMania saw 2007 Playboy covergirl Ashley Massaro, and the most recent Diva to grace the magazine’s pages, Maria Kanellis, take on Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix and Melina in a BunnyMania Match… whatever that is! According to WWE though, it’s a lumberjill match where Playboy bunnies frolic while legitimate women’s wrestlers attempt to salvage what dignity they have left in the match. Appearances by a feather-boa-wearing Santino Marella and a Maria-kissing Snoop Dogg are included. Basically, it’s the worst match of the night (just beating out JBL VS. Finlay—get JBL and his cottage cheese ass of TV!).
Since that fateful night, several of the Divas involved in that match and, in turn, who have posed for Playboy, have experienced life-changing events. Maria has moved to the “B” show. Candice Michelle, who was originally slated to appear alongside Maria as her tag team partner in BunnyMania, was benched for six months with a clavicle injury. And Ashley’s been fired. Enough said.
Looking at past Divas’ Playboy pictorials, or rather, their aftermaths, it seems baring all in the world’s most well-known and well-loved nudie mags is more of a curse than a scantily clad blessing.
For example, Sable, who posed for Playboy three times in some of the highest selling issues, followed current husband and fellow WWE traitor Brock Lesnar to the Japanese wrestling scene. Whether she’ll make another WWE return, and subsequent Playboy appearance, remains to be seen.
Torrie Wilson, who enjoyed the most success as a long-time Diva and two-time Playboy model, is cursed in the form of a failed marriage and a back injury, which forced her to quit the WWE earlier this year. As an extremely popular Diva, surely we haven’t seen the last of Miss Wilson? And you know what they say in the wrestling biz: never say never. Currently, though, Torrie is being sniggered at for charging $7000 for a personal, non-wrestling appearance, which not many indie promotions can afford.
Christy Hemme, one of my personal Diva Search favourites, was fired from the WWE a little more than a year after she won the inaugural Diva Search competition. (Technically, it was the second competition: the first was held in 2003 and the winner, Jaime Koeppe gained a WWE magazine spread in place of a contract and TV time.) Allegedly, Hemme was let go due to budget cuts and a lack of creative direction for her character, but rumours circulating at the time indicated it may have had something to do with her enthusiasm for working with Batista and Triple H, which Stephanie McMahon—wife of Triple H and daughter of the Chairman—didn’t like. (Note to self: If I ever win a Diva Search, make it clear that I don’t fancy the bosses husband!) Hemme’s now a Knockout with rival wrestling promotion, but still second fiddle to WWE, TNA, and her Playboy cover was voted the favourite amongst all the Diva covers on Playboy.com. Next month I will be personally meeting Christy, so I’ll let you all know how it goes!
One of only two former Playboy covergirls currently on the WWE roster, Candice Michelle, has recently returned from an injury, as mentioned above. Originally just eye-candy, Candice became Women’s Champion in 2007, proving that posing nude can win you the gold. (This theory is also evident in the championship career of Mickie James, proving that posing for hardcore porn shots can win you the gold!) Let’s hope the injuries that have plagued her in the last year don’t follow Candice into the business end of 2008.
Hardcore Diva with the facial piercings and tattoos, Ashley Massaro, fit into the wrestling scene so well, and it seemed like she was in the WWE for the long haul. Her kick ass attitude and leather-and-lace look made her a fan favourite, even if I personally couldn’t stand her. But one prostitution scandal and a dodgy MySpace post later, she’s become one of the latest Divas, and Playboy covergirls, to part ways with the WWE.
Joanie Laurer, aka Chyna, is in a league of her own as the poster girl for the Playboy curse. Once WWE’s golden girl, Laurer’s now just a hot mess of botched cosmetic surgery, drug addiction and a disturbing sex-tape made with fellow WWE reject X-Pac (Sean Waltman). If ever there was a walking warning sign for all Divas considering posing for Playboy, Chyna’s it.
Finally, Maria Kanellis, who seems to be a WWE mainstay, was the 2008 Playboy covergirl. Over the past few years, Maria’s managed to maintain her spot on WWE programming as the ditzy interviewer, Kiss Cam host and sometimes sidekick to the likes of John Cena and Santino Marella. Let’s hope her move from WWE’s flagship Raw to “B” show SmackDown!, along with her Achilles heel of having posed for Playboy doesn’t curse her like it has the others.
But it looks like the curse of the Playboy cover girl doesn’t only apply to the wrestling world. Many famous covergirls have felt the unseen wrath of the magazine, including Marilyn Monroe, who was found dead in 1962 of a questionable suicide due to an overdose of sleep medication; Anna Nicole Smith, whose tragi-comic life came to an abrupt end in early 2007 after the death of her 20-year-old son and the birth of her new daughter; and Playboy favourite Pamela Anderson, whose weathered numerous failed marriages and, in an attempt to stay in the spotlight, is now starring in her own reality show on E!
Another example is the murder of Dorothy Ruth Hoogstraten, better known to Playboy fans as August 1979 centrefold and Playmate of the Year 1980, Dorothy Stratten, by her estranged husband, Paul Snider. Stratten was found dead in her apartment, her face blown off and tied to a “bondage machine”. She had been “raped, sodomized, and… raped again in death” according to Madison magazine. Snider’s face was also blown off, committing suicide with the same gun used to kill Stratten.
WWE Divas Kelly Kelly and Mickie James seem the only viable candidates for 2009’s Diva centerfold, according to comments made by Maria in WWE Magazine in April this year. If this is true, Kelly and Mickie should decide what they value more: their fifteen minutes of mainstream fame as a Playboy covergirl, or their livelihood as a WWE performer.
